Monday, February 17, 2014

'All Growed Up', as my friend Laura would say...


2014 Feb 17

Yesterday I met one of our neighbors here in the RV Park for the first time. She and I were comparing notes on how challenging this winter has been for so many folks, health wise, and in other ways, as well.

I mentioned, in conversation, that my father passed away in January. It was the first time, I realized later, that I had spoken those words without tears welling up. And, as I thought about that later, I wondered what kind of a daughter can reach such a point in so short a time frame?  I felt guilty. 

However, as I sit typing those words, I am crying. So, I am guessing that I am the kind of daughter who now grieves alone, rather than in public. I am the kind of daughter who dreams of her Daddy, and wakens sobbing. I am the kind of daughter who knows I will see him again, but who is saddened that he is away from my senses at present. I am a daughter like many others, I suppose. Certain dates will bring tears to my eyes and longing to my heart. Yet, I will bear that pain in private, rather than uncontrollably, wherever I happen to be when it rises up. 


Is this what it means to "be grown up'?

4 comments:

  1. JeanMarie, I'm sorry for the loss of your Father. Don't feel guilty about private mourning. I lost my Father in 1993 and to this day still cry for him. Your posting brought tears to my eyes. I don't believe the loss really ever goes away.
    I'm a fulltime wannabe... Reading blogs and dreaming... I'm figuring another year of planning. And I must say that my Father is working on my dreams. I'm very much like he was in his life.
    Now onto reading more of your adventure and Rving blog.
    Have a great week,
    Carlene

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  3. Hi Jean Marie-I am so sorry about your father's death and since I can't hug you, I'm sending one your way through this message. Grieving privately is not something to feel guilty about. Grief IS a private matter, no one can share your exact feelings about a loss this big. Your heart heals as time goees by but there will always be a tug from the scar left behind.
    You and Ray are in my prayers and I love both of you! Oh...can't forget Grayla, love her too.
    My youngest nephew is all grown up and has a dog of his own, a beautiful husky named Loki. He never forgot hugging Grayla that day in your dining room and she started a healing in him that I can't begin to explain and can never thank you (and Gray) for helping him.
    Take care, be safe and be blessed! Jo Ellen

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    1. Jo Ellen, I am happy to accept your cyber hug and to know that you read my blog! I am also thrilled to here about Joe and his dog, Loki :)
      Greyla is getting very old at nearly 15 (May 2 is her Birthday). But, we are grateful to have had her so long, especially after her splenectomy last April.
      I hope you are well. Perhaps we can talk when you feel like it.
      Sending hunts, love and prayers.
      JM

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