Monday, February 17, 2014

'All Growed Up', as my friend Laura would say...

2014 Feb 17

Yesterday I met one of our neighbors here in the RV Park for the first time. She and I were comparing notes on how challenging this winter has been for so many folks, health wise, and in other ways, as well.

I mentioned, in conversation, that my father passed away in January. It was the first time, I realized later, that I had spoken those words without tears welling up. And, as I thought about that later, I wondered what kind of a daughter can reach such a point in so short a time frame?  I felt guilty. 

However, as I sit typing those words, I am crying. So, I am guessing that I am the kind of daughter who now grieves alone, rather than in public. I am the kind of daughter who dreams of her Daddy, and wakens sobbing. I am the kind of daughter who knows I will see him again, but who is saddened that he is away from my senses at present. I am a daughter like many others, I suppose. Certain dates will bring tears to my eyes and longing to my heart. Yet, I will bear that pain in private, rather than uncontrollably, wherever I happen to be when it rises up. 

Is this what it means to "be grown up'?


  1. JeanMarie, I'm sorry for the loss of your Father. Don't feel guilty about private mourning. I lost my Father in 1993 and to this day still cry for him. Your posting brought tears to my eyes. I don't believe the loss really ever goes away.
    I'm a fulltime wannabe... Reading blogs and dreaming... I'm figuring another year of planning. And I must say that my Father is working on my dreams. I'm very much like he was in his life.
    Now onto reading more of your adventure and Rving blog.
    Have a great week,

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  3. Hi Jean Marie-I am so sorry about your father's death and since I can't hug you, I'm sending one your way through this message. Grieving privately is not something to feel guilty about. Grief IS a private matter, no one can share your exact feelings about a loss this big. Your heart heals as time goees by but there will always be a tug from the scar left behind.
    You and Ray are in my prayers and I love both of you! Oh...can't forget Grayla, love her too.
    My youngest nephew is all grown up and has a dog of his own, a beautiful husky named Loki. He never forgot hugging Grayla that day in your dining room and she started a healing in him that I can't begin to explain and can never thank you (and Gray) for helping him.
    Take care, be safe and be blessed! Jo Ellen

    1. Jo Ellen, I am happy to accept your cyber hug and to know that you read my blog! I am also thrilled to here about Joe and his dog, Loki :)
      Greyla is getting very old at nearly 15 (May 2 is her Birthday). But, we are grateful to have had her so long, especially after her splenectomy last April.
      I hope you are well. Perhaps we can talk when you feel like it.
      Sending hunts, love and prayers.