Friday, December 27, 2013

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2013 Dec 23/27

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 

Our first Christmas on the road was filled with homesickness and illness. The first contributing to the latter, I am sure. Last Christmas was different. Much less homesickness. More enjoyment in the moment. We decorate our little space inside and out, but only minimally. We sent Christmas cards in a timely fashion, which we had never done before. There was a peacefulness to spending the month of December just steps from the Atlantic Ocean in South Carolina, that complimented the peace we all want to feel, especially at Christmas.

Sunrise over Edisto Beach, SC, Dec. 2013

This year is a little different. More homesickness than last year for me. And even a bit of melancholy for Raymond, who is thinking about friends and family no longer with us. We decorated more than we did last year. We have our string of lights, our little stained glass snowman, our balsam & cedar scented candle, our Nativity, and our little ceramic tree inside the motor home. Outside, we have lights strung around the inside of the gazebo, along the awning of the motor home, and around the tree on our site. We also have a tinsel tree which folds flat for storage, and our Christmas Star, along with some red & white striped solar lights that belong to the owner of the site we're renting. I think it looks festive.

Our festive lot in Nature Coast Landing

Lights in the gazebo

Lights around the awning

Our lights and tree in the RV

So why am I missing a big tree? And a mantle filled with decorations? Why am I nostalgic for cold weather?

Our fireplace & mantle in the sticks & bricks house

Our tree in our sticks & bricks house

Our nativity in our sticks and bricks house

I do not miss the busyness of the season, when you stress about buying gifts for people who really don't need more stuff. But I am missing my Dad. I keep thinking that this may be the last Christmas he is around and that makes me miss him even more. 

Add in the fact that we are currently in what some of the residents call, "the friendliest RV park in Florida". That should be a good problem, right? I love that everyone is so friendly and nice. But it does seem to emphasize my own (and Raymond's, too) introverted nature. These folks are true people persons. They are all active and involved from sun up to sunset and beyond. They thrive on action and interaction. Meanwhile, it takes all the energy we have to show up at the bonfire. And, generally, I'm OK with the homebodies we are. I go to church on Sunday. We have little outings, just the two of us and Greyla. But, most of the time we don't do a lot of socializing. Here, in this park, I feel inadequate about who we are. Not that anyone has done anything to produce that feeling in me - it is simply me feeling bad by comparison. So, it's my problem. Perhaps once the pressure of the holidays has passed, with the accompanying homesickness, I can become less fixated. The problem is that by being comfortable with my homebodyness and avoiding things like the book club, yoga and water aerobics, I set myself up for feeling unable to jump in at some point later. Really, you would think after 63 years living in my skin, and 9 years in therapy, I would handle new situations with less social anxiety.

Well, Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!

1 comment:

  1. Introverts/Extroverts...David is perfectly happy with staying in and playing on the computer, watching movies,, I like to really makes me sad when I can't visit with people and meet new folks!

    Everyone finds their own niche. I miss my kids all the time, and the Holidays are the worst. I expect to be with them next holiday season, which helped me get through this one!

    You can't change who you are - and if you are comfortable in your own skin, that's all that matters!

    Take care lady.