Ups and Downs

2013 October 5

Ups and Downs

Our life on the road seems to have deteriorated into our life in my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's driveway. Not to imply that theirs isn't a lovely driveway. It is actually very spacious. More so than some "resorts" where we've stayed. And they have been gracious. And kind. And generous. They have grass and trees, very few neighbors, stars on clear nights, and excellent satellite reception. All, in all, for a suburban driveway, it's great! But, it's not where we planned to be. In fact, today would've been the day we arrived in Florida, at Nature Coast Resort, in Crystal River. Raymond has been looking forward to it for some time. I have, too, but maybe less intensely, because of my focus on my Dad and his illness and my issues with my own neck.

We expected to be here at the Kleppick Family Compound for maybe two weeks. I had appointments with all my various doctors scheduled for September 19 - 23. Daddy's oncologist was scheduled for September 30. We planned to head south on October 2. Two says come to mind: the best laid plans of mice and men… and Men plan, God laughs.

After the follow up appointment with the Orthopedic surgeon regarding my neck, (Too Much)  my symptoms were progressing rapidly enough to cause me concern about my plan to wait until spring for the surgery. I talked to the people who are part of my support system, husband, friend, brother, sister in law, therapist and weighed my options. I called and spoke to a nurse in the doctor's office. I texted my niece, the RN. I wanted to change my mind, stay here and have the surgery done now. I was, however, extremely reluctant to bring the full scope of my change of heart up to Raymond. Knowing he really didn't want to stay for even two weeks, I couldn't imagine how would he react to the idea of staying for two months! 

The more I thought about the progression of my symptoms, the more scared I became of being the only driver, and becoming unable to drive because of the numbness, tingling, and intermittent discomfort. (For those who don't know, Raymond has never had a driver's license, so all responsibilities regarding driving fall to me.) I didn't want to get to Crystal River and be unable to drive. I didn't want to get there, realize I need surgery, and be a thousand miles from my doctors with whom I have a relationship. And to be fair, I didn't express these realizations to Raymond as they occurred, because I knew he would be extremely unhappy. I suppose in some way, I expected him to read my mind and simply know what I wanted.  

In any case, when I dropped the information on him, he definitely reacted badly. And I reacted to him with anger and self righteousness. It took about twelve hours of stewing in our own juices before we could discuss the situation reasonably. 

On October 2, we went together to see the Orthopedic surgeon, who confirmed that it was, indeed, a better decision to proceed than to wait, given the progression of my symptoms. We scheduled my cervical spinal surgery for October 17. Recovery will take six to eight weeks. Then we will be on our way to Florida. In the grand scheme of things, just a bump in the road, provided God isn't laughing as we make our plans.